I was talking to a friend this week about making poor lifestyle choices. I’d been starting to live a life that wasn’t bringing out the best in me. I knew it deep inside, but didn’t want to admit it.
Anyway, I realised that if you start studying yourself (start “a bug book” – more on that in another post) it’s quite easy to spot what’s going wrong.
For me, the tell-tale signs were:
- I was feeling frustrated a lot more than usual
- I was getting overly judgmental about others (I’m usually pretty indifferent to how others choose to live)
- I was becoming short-tempered
- I was experiencing sudden shifts in mood, getting overly emotional about stuff
- I was laughing less
I was feeling, shall we say, “a mess,” and I knew some journaling (read more about the power of journaling here) was needed to get to the bottom of it. I realized I was getting some of the basics completely wrong.
Some wayward thoughts/beliefs/lifestyle choices had crept in without me realizing it.
These were:
- Not getting enough sleep. Going to bed too late (1 or 2 in the morning), and with kids in the house and school-runs needed at 8AM everyday (I get woken at 6:30 whether I like it or not) was leaving me with 4 to so hours of broken sleep. I justified it as “I’m a night owl”, but that’s rather silly.
- When I stayed up late, I was often writing or making videos. My brain was wired. Not good.
- I wasn’t getting daily exercise. I walk the dog, but that’s not the same as a cardio workout.
- I wasn’t reading enough. I’d fallen out of the habit of reading. If I had to chart the times my life had gone off the rails in the past few years, I’m sure I wasn’t reading much.
- I was drinking too regularly. I’d perhaps not drink Monday or Tuesday, but from Wednesday through Sunday, I’d have at least a couple of drinks each night.
- I wasn’t talking to enough people. I really love talking, especially friends who like to “go deep” on subjects.
- I wasn’t writing. I love what writing does to me. I can’t define what it is, but it sorts me out. I’ve been writing journals for the past few years, but I’d fallen out of the habit.
Those are some of the main reasons my life felt like it had gone awry. Anyway, back to the conversation I mentioned at the start of this post.
My friend mentioned something that really struck me, and it’s so true and what I needed to hear. It was this:
” Every action is a vote for the future you”
I love that. All the tiny things add up.
So what should I change? (lets call this “the adjacent possible”.)
- Get daily exercise first thing in the morning. I always forget about the “runners high” you get after you’ve been out.
- Write daily. I’ve increasingly started to publish here a lot of what I would have kept private before.
- Do more random acts of kindness (read about those here). They’re amazing for you.
- I really love growing things. In the spring / summer months I’m always outside in the garden, and have recently started growing veg. I read that you get a natural hit of seratonin (your natural happy drug) just by working with the soil. I know I get a peaceful feeling when I’m working on my plot. The problem is the UK isn’t great in the Winter months, but I could easily build a poly-tunnel or greenhouse and grow through the rainy months.
- I love making stuff too. As well as writing, I like writing songs and doing the occasional video (you can see my appreciation of Peter Gabriel here.)
- My diet is pretty good, but it could be better. I want to get better at avoiding processed food, especially snacks. Hard with kids in the house as there’s always some temptation at arms reach, but I’m getting better at grabbing fruit rather than a Kit-Kat!
- Getting better at connecting with my family outside of my immediate wife and kids. Its so easy not to do things, but I’m always reminded whenever I see my family how good it feels. I also have a new family to get to know which I wrote about here.
- Spending more quality time with my kids. I recently started playing golf with my son, and I loved it. It was probably the best quality time I’ve had with my son in recent times. It was just us two out on a beautiful course, and was really magical. I never got to play with my Dad, so it feels great to do this. The picture above is of my son Jack on the 3rd hole at Tiverton Golf Club.
What do you have on your list?
