Naval Ravikant’s Three Big Decisions – How Important Are They?

One of the most interesting thinkers in recent years, Naval Ravikant, said these words:

The three big decisions – what you do, where you live, and who you’re with.

Naval Ravikant

So, how true is this?

Let’s have a think…

What you do

We spend a huge chunk of our lives working. If it’s doing something we don’t enjoy, that’s a ton of time doing something that makes us miserable.

Of course, there are always people in worse positions than us. People are living in slums without clean water. Compared to these people, whatever we do to earn money is acceptible. We can’t complain, right.

But for the sake of argument, lets say we’re just considering “first worlders,” who can, within reason, do whatever they like.

The thing is, we so often “fall” into occupations. We reach an age where we need to find work, and we take the best option available at the time. It would be ludicrous to suggest those jobs we end up doing are the ones best suited for us.

It’s a crap shoot.

Some people fall into a job they love, and they never look back. Each day is another chance to practice the thing they love.

But how often is this really the case? Even a job that started out well can turn into drudgery. There’s such a thing as “too much of a good thing.”

I think it’s prudent to take moments throughout your career to think “do I really want to be doing this”? Of course, most of us have financial commitments (mortgages, etc.) so it’s not as easy as “up and leaving”, but change can be made slowly.

Even just the act of considering other things you could do is a good mental exercise. If you come back round to realising the job you’re doing actually is spot on, then you’ll feel better about it

Where you live

I moved to the countryside a couple of years ago, having lived in the outskirts of London for about 15 years, so this one is very “close” to me shall we say.

I was conversing with Derek Sivers a few weeks ago over email, remarking how travel is the “quick fix” for changing things up. I experienced pretty early on in my adult life the transformative effect that travel can have you on.

I came from a pretty backwards northern city in the UK, and when, at the age, of 23 I moved to Spain to live and work there, my little head almost exploded.

I’d dabbled in recreational substances, so knew what change on the inside felt like, but travel was 100X more powerful.

It made me feel like a completely different person.

With a family in tow these days, its not so straightforward to travel. A weekend here or there, sure, but the proper change comes when you live somewhere for a period. I’m not in a position to do that right now.

So what do you do when you’re in my position? My solution is to do this. Write, and meet other fellow “travellers of the mind” online.

I’m comforted by the George Harrison lyrics from the song, The Inner Light:

Without going out of my door
I can know all things of earth
Without looking out of my window
I could know the ways of heaven
The farther one travels
The less one knows
The less one really knows

George Harrison

Would I rather be in a hustling, bustling city of culture? Sure, sometimes I would. But I know how tiring those places can be as well.

Maybe you don’t need to physically travel anywhere?

Who you’re with

If what you do and where you live are both transitory, and to a large extent, a matter of chance, then who you’re with is no doubt similar.

If you think about all the millions of potential partners out there in the world, its sort of ridiculous to think the one you’re with now is meant to be. That’s the stuff we read in greetings cards.

Like with your job, there could be something else that you’re much better suited to. You just haven’t tried it, so how would you know? The same could be said for your partner. There’s bound to be potentially tons of other people who are much better suited to you. Its just you haven’t “tried” them, so how would you know?

Does that mean you give up on them now and start casting your line again? It depends. If the person you’re with is really bad for you (the equivalent of a really crappy job that you can’t stand), then putting together a plan to “leave that role” is a sensible thing to do.

After all, staying with someone just because that’s all you know is like sticking out a job that’s making you miserable. There’s absolutely no reason to do that, other than fear.

If your partner is ok, you might be the reason why the relationship isn’t working.

If that’s the case, then it’s time to look inward. What could you be doing to improve things? There’s no point in finishing a relationship with a perfectly good partner when really the issue is with you, because you’ll find the same thing happening next time you find someone you want to fix up with.

Summary

I agree with all three points to an extent, but I still think all these are external factors. Sure, changing what you do, where you live, and who you’re with have a MASSIVE impact on your life, but ultimately what’s happening on the inside is more important.

Learning to understand what works for you is the most important thing.

At the end of the day, you could live in the most exciting city on earth, doing the most exciting job, with a gorgeous, kind-hearted partner, and be miserable as sin.

What do you think?